What’s going on this April:

-First wedding of the season this weekend

-Attempting to read this 246 page book and write a 5 page paper on it in under a week.  Yeah right.  I think I’ll end up writing the paper based on the introduction.

-Getting ready for 3 weddings in May

-Final exams for History of Architecture and Textiles and Finish Materials

-Debating whether of not to take the summer off of classes.  I think I’m going to have to- too many weddings (which I guess is a good thing?  Right now I’m slightly losing it).

-Easter Brunch with my parents the other week: Dad “You are really looking good Julie since you’ve taken all this weight off.  You are a real catch now.”  Me “Was I not a catch before?”  Dad “No, you were just MORE of a catch.”

That is all.

Lately I’ve been thinking “so many Bravo shows to watch, so little time.”  Wouldn’t be nice if my job was to sit on my couch, watch the 15 hours of Bravo shows a week that I want to watch but I can’t due to real life.  I could sleep till late in the morning, watch a few hours of DVR’d shows, meal break (as if I hadn’t been eating while I was watching the shows), maybe blog about them, then catch the live shows that evening.  Wouldn’t it be glorious?  Or possibly very, very sad.

Do you know why I put up with this ‘pitiful job’, Mr. Donaghy, why I fetch these folks’ lunches and clean up their barfs? Cause they make television. And more then jazz, or musical theater, or morbid obesity, television is the true American art form.”

-Kenneth Parcell, 30 Rock

It’s miserably cold out right now, and my S.A.D. is in full swing, so I thought I’d make a list of things I love, so maybe I won’t be a completely bitter, angry person this winter…

• warm weather, obviously
• baseball
• hot dogs
• pepsi
• being on or near the water
• annapolis, maryland
• cruises
• IKEA
• disney world
• the homestead
• any spa where I am getting a massage or facial
• sitting on my couch with my dogs
• lost dog cafe pizza
• going to the movies
• celine dion

or rather a Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day to you

You can pick you this sweet hand snuggie over on Etsy, where else…

I broke one of my cardinal rules recently:

If a man you do not know or one you do know but find creepy asks you if you are married, have a boyfriend or dating anyone, you always respond “yes”.

I was totally caught off guard the other day when an acquaintance bombarded me with a litany of “are you married? do you have a boyfriend? are you dating anyone? any prospects?”  I was totally not expecting it and was therefore a little flustered and responded with a “uh uh uh no” to all of the questions.  Normally my response would have been yes and when he asked me what he did for a living I would have said he was a policeman or a firefighter or worked for the CIA or FBI.  A kick-ass job like that usually shuts them up.  I am no proponent of lying but I really don’t feel it’s any of these men’s business if I’m single, married, dating, or live alone with my two dogs, thank you very much.

The same goes for pregnancy.  I don’t think it is ever appropriate for a man to comment on a woman’s pregnancy unless she brings the subject up first to him, and then he can only ask her about it on that occasion.  It is never appropriate for a man to ask a woman when she is due.  This is coming from someone who has been asked on at least two occasions I can remember.  The most recent time I responded with some ludicrous date that was like 17 months in the future which left the man very confused- he congratulated me but was very confused.  The time before that, this happened:

Um, no…sorry

Taken from my old blog- originally published March 25, 2009.

My day at the dog park:

Older man: When are you due?

Me: Sorry?

Older man: When are you due?

{Long pause…}

Me: Huh?

Older man: When is your BABY due? {Making an arch with his hands}

Me: Ummmm, I’m not pregnant, sorry.

Awkward silence.  Man quickly exits dog park.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
-Dave Barry

My step-mom recently had her knee replaced and has been having a physical therapist come to the house to help her recuperate.  My dad naturally jumped at the opportunity to express his deep concerns to the PT over my walking issues.  My walking issues are much greater in my dad’s mind than they actually are.  I’m fully aware that I inherited my mom and grandma’s genes and I walk just like them, very stiff without bending my knees or moving my hips.  My dad has been telling me my whole life to “kick the can”… supposedly that’s supposed to help me bend my knees when I walk.  He said he used to tell it to my mom all the time when she walked.  I hope she slapped him.

So the other day I was visiting my dad and step-mom at their house.  My dad was very, emphasis on very, excited to tell me that he had talked to the PT about my walking issues and the PT had diagnosed me as having a “frozen pelvis.”  Ummm, dad are you sure that’s what he called it?  My dad thinks he may have called it a tight pelvis but can’t really remember.  Nevertheless, the PT would be able to loosen my pelvis and according to my dad I would finally be able to take that weight off my hips.  Miracle of miracles.  By the time I called my sisters an hour later to tell them the ridiculous frozen pelvis story, they were already fully aware.  Apparently my dad had already excitedly called them to tell them the good news about my frozen pelvis.

“Thin Thighs in Thirty Days”

Originally posted December 9, 2009 on my old, nameless blog

I was about to leave for the evening yesterday when my dad called and asked me to wait 5 minutes as he was on his way to my house and he had something he really wanted to give me.

When he got there, he handed me this book:

It is copyrighted 1982 and it was my mother’s (back in 1982). He thought the frog kick exercise that they demonstrate in the book would really help “to loosen my hips” and help me “not walk like grandma.”

Thanks Dad.