It’s a rough life for my dogs.
January 30, 2012
It’s Good To Meet You
Twice recently I’ve been talking to people who I’ve met on several different occasions and both times it’s been very obvious that they have no recollection of ever meeting me before. I understand it happens to all of us on occasion, but with this one lady we were talking and I said something along the lines of “it’s good to see you again” to which she responds “no we’ve never met before.” Umm, did we not have a ten minute conversation the other month?
At my church I’ve been attending the young adult group for about a year now. It’s a pretty small group so even you haven’t formally met everyone, you know their faces. A few weeks ago, one of the regular attenders introduced himself to me as if I was a newcomer. This guy was actually the very first person I met when I started attending the church a year ago so I knew his name. I mean, I know I’m no Angelina Jolie but c’mon, had he really never noticed me in the pew week after week?
If there’s a remote possibility that I may have met someone before I always say “it’s good to see you” as opposed to “it’s good to meet you” so as to not offend them.
January 28, 2012
Christmas with the Daniel Family Part 3
It’s almost been over month since Christmas so I feel I owe it to you to recount the details of Christmas 2011. Nothing as drastic as Part 1 or Part 2, but still lots of strange stories to tell.
It started out weird because for the first time since my dad married my step-mom 16 years ago we didn’t go to her home state of South Carolina for Christmas. Being the first Christmas I’ve spent in Virginia since the 4th grade it was really strange to not have to pack up and drive for a good 8-14 hours, depending on traffic, Cracker Barrel stops and road side fist fights between my sisters and I.
My two sisters did have to travel to get home to Virginia; my older sister by bus from New York City; my younger sister by plane from LA with her 5 pound yorkie in tow.
My sister Katherine’s dog Jack is potty pad trained. The problem with my parent’s house is that it is all hardwood floors and rugs, and Jack thinks that the rugs are his potty pads. The first night we were all back at home, my immediate family, aunt and uncle and one cousin were sitting around our dining room table talking after dinner. My older sister Claire was clearing plates from the table when she stepped in something. She made a disgusted face and told me to get if off her foot. With both assumed it was a green bean that had fallen on the floor. I scraped it off with a Christmas card and set it on the dining room table. My cousin looked at me and shook his head and all he said was “No.” I immediately clued in to the fact that this was in fact not a green bean I had scraped off my sister’s foot and set on the dining room table, but dog poo. Trying to not alert my step-mom to the Christmas card of dog poo sitting on the table which she would obviously not be thrilled about and to the pile of poop on her mother’s antique oriental rug, my sister and I quickly went into action to hide the evidence. We got away with it that night but by the next day all the rugs in the house had been taken up and sent to the cleaners. Jack had left his mark.
My step-mom let Jack sleep in bed with my sister Katherine, which was really surprising. It was a huge step for my dogs to be allowed over at all. I live in a townhouse about 10 minutes from my parents and asked to spend a few nights at their house while my sisters were in town so I could spend more time with them. They were fine with that but my dogs couldn’t spend the night. It was annoying, because I would have had to drive them home when I wanted to go to bed them come back to their house, and made no sense, since my sister’s dog was allowed to spend the night. So the first night my sisters and I were watching a movie and I fell asleep on the couch at 9:00 pm which is par for the course. I woke up at 3 something am where my older sister (the one with no dog) and dogs were passed out too. I got up to drive home because I didn’t want to face the wrath of my step-mom if she found out my dogs had slept on the couch. My sister told me to not leave quite yet because she wanted to cuddle with my dogs a little bit longer. We all fell asleep again and next thing I knew it was 6:00 am and my dad came barging into the room screaming that I had to get out of the house immediately because if Jane found out that my dogs had spend the night (on the couch) she would be not so happy (keep in mind my sister and her dog were sleeping soundly in her bed in the next room). So I was kicked out the house, and still half asleep and didn’t remember that my car was totally out of gas. I set out towards my townhouse in the black of morning on a two lane road when all the sudden my car started just chugging and jolting back and forth. Oh crap. I quickly pulled over into a neighborhood and turned my car off. I called my dad and started crying and told him he had to come get me. I explained to him where exactly I was and he reminded me there was a gas station just over the hill. So I turned my car on and prayed it would make it over the hill and through the light to the gas station. It was jolting so hard and going so slow, I put my flashers on. Thankfully I made it over the hill so I know I could coast down the hill to the gas station. Unfortunately the light was red which it never is red so I just started honking my horn at the cars coming from the other direction while I chugged through going 2.5 miles an hour. I made it to the gas station. The bad news is my check engine light has been on since then and I somehow did $800 worth of damage to it.
On Christmas Eve we decided to go to the 5:00 Family Service in order to accommodate my cousin’s small children. We learned that the 5:00 service was special because it was the service “Where Every Child Gets a Musical Instrument.” Nevermind the fact that my sisters and I are 23, 26 and 30, you better believe we got triangles and tambourines of our own. My dad and my sisters and I drove separately and we were supposed to leave early to save seats which didn’t happen. We pulled up in the parking lot at the same time as the rest of my family so my dad made us run in without them seeing us so that he wouldn’t get in trouble with my step-mom for not having seats saved.
For Christmas I totally copied my co-worker’s idea- she gave her sisters a 2012 calendar of pictures of only herself. Brilliant. Naturally I did the exact same thing.
It’s absolutely ridiculous, and a total joke.
Here’s January:
I’m thinking about making it an annual tradition.
One night at dinner my sister and I both passed out on the couch- her from jet lag, me just because I’m my father’s daughter and if it’s past 9:00 and I’m on a couch, I’m asleep. Naturally if there is a camera near one of us is obligated to take a picture. My older sister snapped this one of me and texted it to my coworker. It’s funny because I fell asleep with my bald spot showing ever so prominently.
And this one of my younger sister Katherine is golden. My baby cousin had been there, but had left, and had left her bottle. It was just too funny. I have her permission to post this.
My older sister was on her soapbox a day or two before Christmas and was telling us that Humanitarian gifts were out this year, she had read it somewhere. What do you know my younger sister gave us both hats knitted by women in Africa. It was pretty funny. And I really like the hat.
Over the whole course of Christmas my step-mom was complaining about the amount of sweets in the house and how she couldn’t wait to have them all out of the house once Christmas was over. My sisters and I were in CVS one night after Christmas and saw the most gargantuan box of Whitman’s chocolates on sale. Naturally we had to buy it just to spite her.
(WARNING- JULIE WITH NO MAKEUP)
For New Year’s Eve my younger sister and I went to a party at a friend’s house. This is a family friend whose parents are friends with my parents and we have known for forever. For Y2K 12 years ago we had a New Year’s Party at their same house, but that time it was with our parents also. I’m not sure who had the idea, but at the Y2K New Year’s Party we made a time capsule which we were supposed to bury and dig up ten years later. I don’t think it ever got buried- I think it stayed in someone’s garage and I got to see it for the first time this past New Year’s. Want to see what 14-year-old Julie wrote on the time capsule?
To recap:
Julie Daniel
Fun Party
Claire + Paul (My sister and her then boyfriend and her date at the party)
- crew (bleeped out [sucks]) stinks (my parent’s forced me to be on the crew (rowing) team freshman year of high school and I hated it. All I wanted to do was play tennis but my dad “loved watching the boats glide across the water.”)
- and biology class (sucks)
- no bf (boyfriend) unfortunately (half written by my older sister Claire- guess I didn’t know how to spell?) (On the boyfriend front- Not much has changed 12 years later)
- monica bf (best friend- this is what I remember getting in trouble for at the party. I just remember my step-mom yelling at me “you will NOT be best friend’s with Monica ten years from now.” She was right. Haven’t spoken to her since Freshman year of school).
That’s about it, till next year, Happy Yule, Y’all.
January 23, 2012
Duggz
Considering sinking to new lows and buying my dogs Duggz…. Uggs for dogs. When it snows it’s so hard having to walk them because the salt on the sidewalks hurts their paws. They will literally stop walking and put one paw up in the air and then another and look at me in agony… it’s really sad actually. So I guess I’m not sinking to new lows, I guess I just never imagined I’d one day be buying boots for my dogs. I spent an hour and a half today running errands and when I got home I realized it was all for my dogs, the vet to get heartworm medicine, Trader Joe’s to get dog food, and the dry cleaners to pick up my comforter which they had gotten dirty. I won’t even tell you what they did to it, it’s so foul.
That is all.
January 20, 2012
GET OFF
I have no shame that I am an aggressive Northern Virginia driver. But under no circumstances are fellow northern Virginia drivers allowed to get aggressive with me. If someone starts tailgating me too closely, I brake, not to hard, but hard enough to warn them, put up my pointer finger at them and mouth to them “GET OFF!” It scares the living daylights out of them and they stop tailgating me immediately.
January 16, 2012
Falling Down, Chapter 4
The other week I was walking my dogs at night on the sidewalk that runs around my townhouse complex. They went off in the grass to sniff something so I started over after them. All I know is I was standing horizontal one minute and the next I was face flat on the ground and I had no idea what hit me. My dogs gave me a look like “Umm we’re not with her” because they were obviously embarrassed by the crazy woman walking them who is incapable of standing up straight. So I was just lying on my side face planted on the ground thinking “what on earth just happened?” I then proceeded to get up but realized I couldn’t- I was kind of disoriented, I came down pretty hard and fast, and I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t stand up. About then I realized it was because my foot and most of my leg and gone down into a pretty deep hole, almost up to my knee in the ground. I literally had to pull my leg out of the hole to get up.
The worst part is is that it knocked the heel off one of my favorite pairs of boots and it’s setting me back $60 and putting them out of commission 3 weeks to fix them. The next day I went to the scene of the crime to snap a pick for the property manager so they could fix the problem.
Just another day.
January 9, 2012
Mom’s Apple Pie Company
If you are ever in the Leesburg or Occoquan areas of Virginia you need to make it a point to stop by Mom’s Apple Pie Company. Kinda like if you are near a drive thru Krispy Kreme, you are morally obligated to stop and get a dozen and eat them immediately. Anyways, they have the most amazing pies. They are constantly written up in Southern Living and I recently (and by recently I mean summer 2011) had the opportunity to try some of their pies at a wedding where I was the assistant planner. They were to die for.
All photos credit Photography by Mandi White (who is by the way an amazing photographer. Book her for your wedding).
January 6, 2012
Le Creuset Dutch Oven
I got a red Le Creuset Dutch Oven for Christmas which I was totally not expecting. When I opened the present I literally shrieked like an 8-year-old who had just gotten a my size Barbie (that is a whole nother story…).
I hadn’t even asked for it. I’ve been dreaming and salivating over a Le Creuset Dutch oven for years now, but figured I wouldn’t get one until I got married and someone bought me one off my wedding registry because they ain’t cheap. And it was in red, which I don’t think my step-mom knew that I buy all my kitchen appliances in red because 1) most of my mom’s kitchen appliances were red and 2) I think red is a good color to have in the kitchen, it stimulates the appetite.
So this is pretty much what I look like now in the kitchen:
About the my size Barbie, I asked for one every year for Christmas for about 5 years in a row, but that was during the time when my dad was a recent widower so it probably went in one ear and out the other. I think if I got one now I would probably shriek like I did when I got the Le Creuset.
Like this:
December 14, 2011
Merry Christmas From the Daniel Family
Pathetic, right? I did a real tree 2 years ago and I swore I would never do a real one again until I had a husband who would put it up for me. Until that time comes, my half dead palm? will have to do.
“Happy Holidays…. is what the terrorists say. Merry Christmas. Love, Avery and Jack.” -30 Rock
