A few days later I was leaving the mall after seeing The Descendants with a friend and obviously in a bad mood as you would understand if you saw the movie (good movie, just sad).  When you walk out of the doors at my mall inevitably you are enveloped by a cloud of cigarette smoke as there are at any given moment at least two people smoking right by the door.  This is a huge pet peeve of mine- if you want to smoke fine, just do it somewhere else where I don’t have to breathe it in.  I even started harassing the mall’s facebook page a year or two ago saying stuff like “I love Tysons but I hate walking through a cloud of cigarette smoke every time I go to the mall.”  I’d like to take personal responsibility for them installing “NO SMOKING WITHIN 50 FEET OF THE ENTRANCE” signs right outside the doors.

So on this particular night after seeing The Descendants my friend and I were leaving the mall and what do you know, there were a handful of teenagers smoking directly underneath the no smoking sign.  Being in a not so great mood I was not going to tolerate their shenanigans so to my friend’s horror I stopped, looked at them, pointed at the no smoking sign and said “There’s no smoking within 50 feet of the building” to which the one teenager responded with something like “yeah whatever lady.”  Don’t mess with me.  I wanted to say “DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND- A WOMAN HAS JUST DIED.  A WOMAN.  HAS DIED.  OK?”  They don’t need to know it was in a movie.  So I just said to the kid “Some people have severe smoke allergies ok?” to which he rolled his eyes at me.  I don’t have severe smoke allergies, but that’s another thing he doesn’t need to know.

Still not feeling like I’d done my work for the evening, I decided to take it one step further.  I noticed one of the teenagers was wearing an AMC uniform (the movie theater in the mall).  I looked up the number for the theater and made my friend wait in the car before we left so I could call and rat out the smoking employees.  It took a good 10 minutes till I finally was able to get a live person on the phone but when I did she was very apologetic and told me the employees would be dealt with.

WATCH OUT TEENAGERS!

• warm weather, obviously
• baseball
• hot dogs
• pepsi
• being on or near the water
• annapolis, maryland
• cruises
• IKEA
• disney world
• the homestead
• any spa where I am getting a massage or facial
• sitting on my couch with my dogs
• lost dog cafe pizza
• going to the movies
• celine dion

You can pick you this sweet hand snuggie over on Etsy, where else…

Henry wanted to help.

Anyways, this morning I finally got around to peeling it off the backing and sticking it to wall.  It did not…. go well.  It really is a two person job.  It was like saran wrap when it starts sticking to itself.

STOP.  GO GET ANOTHER PERSON TO HELP YOU.  WAIT.  THERE IS NO ONE ELSE BUT THESE SUCKERS.

They weren’t much of a help.

FRUSTRATION.

I DON’T NEED A MAN TO HANG THIS FAKE HEADBOARD, DANGIT.

Voila.  Not too great.

Verdict:  It looks great from far away but up close you can see all the crinkles and air pockets and wear I ripped it in some places and wear hair accidentally got stuck in it.  It wasn’t pretty.  But darn it all I put it up myself.  I think there products really could be great, you just need two people for these larger things.

My friend Emily’s recipe for Cheese Squares is divine.  They are pretty much butter and cheese soaked bread- how can you go wrong with that?  There is a lot of butter- I might cut down the amount of butter by a stick or two next time a make them.  As you can see from the picture they were oozing with butter.  They are very rich, and very delicious.

If a man you do not know or one you do know but find creepy asks you if you are married, have a boyfriend or dating anyone, you always respond “yes”.

I was totally caught off guard the other day when an acquaintance bombarded me with a litany of “are you married? do you have a boyfriend? are you dating anyone? any prospects?”  I was totally not expecting it and was therefore a little flustered and responded with a “uh uh uh no” to all of the questions.  Normally my response would have been yes and when he asked me what he did for a living I would have said he was a policeman or a firefighter or worked for the CIA or FBI.  A kick-ass job like that usually shuts them up.  I am no proponent of lying but I really don’t feel it’s any of these men’s business if I’m single, married, dating, or live alone with my two dogs, thank you very much.

The same goes for pregnancy.  I don’t think it is ever appropriate for a man to comment on a woman’s pregnancy unless she brings the subject up first to him, and then he can only ask her about it on that occasion.  It is never appropriate for a man to ask a woman when she is due.  This is coming from someone who has been asked on at least two occasions I can remember.  The most recent time I responded with some ludicrous date that was like 17 months in the future which left the man very confused- he congratulated me but was very confused.  The time before that, this happened:

Um, no…sorry

Taken from my old blog- originally published March 25, 2009.

My day at the dog park:

Older man: When are you due?

Me: Sorry?

Older man: When are you due?

{Long pause…}

Me: Huh?

Older man: When is your BABY due? {Making an arch with his hands}

Me: Ummmm, I’m not pregnant, sorry.

Awkward silence.  Man quickly exits dog park.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
-Dave Barry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apvf4UihPd8

I’m totally a Monica, I’m a shameless Obsessive Compulsive label making neat freak.  Except when I want not to be.  One area in my house I choose not to be is my linen closet.  It’s really only one shelf.  It all started out with fitted sheets.  My motto has always been that life is too short to fold fitted sheets, so I never have, I just kind of haphazardly scrunch them into a ball when they come out of the dryer.  And then I just got lazy with the flat sheets and pillow cases and started cramming them all into the top shelf of my linen closet.  It’s bad people.  And I have no intention of folding my sheets anytime soon.

Filed under: Home & Design Tagged: Organization ]]> http://thejuliedaniel.com/2012/02/05/my-not-so-secret-closet/feed/ 0 juliemdaniel Screen shot 2012-02-05 at 10.26.44 PM IMG_2474 http://thejuliedaniel.com/2012/02/03/kick-the-can/ http://thejuliedaniel.com/2012/02/03/kick-the-can/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:50:48 +0000 juliemdaniel http://thejuliedaniel.com/?p=6597 ]]> My step-mom recently had her knee replaced and has been having a physical therapist come to the house to help her recuperate.  My dad naturally jumped at the opportunity to express his deep concerns to the PT over my walking issues.  My walking issues are much greater in my dad’s mind than they actually are.  I’m fully aware that I inherited my mom and grandma’s genes and I walk just like them, very stiff without bending my knees or moving my hips.  My dad has been telling me my whole life to “kick the can”… supposedly that’s supposed to help me bend my knees when I walk.  He said he used to tell it to my mom all the time when she walked.  I hope she slapped him.

So the other day I was visiting my dad and step-mom at their house.  My dad was very, emphasis on very, excited to tell me that he had talked to the PT about my walking issues and the PT had diagnosed me as having a “frozen pelvis.”  Ummm, dad are you sure that’s what he called it?  My dad thinks he may have called it a tight pelvis but can’t really remember.  Nevertheless, the PT would be able to loosen my pelvis and according to my dad I would finally be able to take that weight off my hips.  Miracle of miracles.  By the time I called my sisters an hour later to tell them the ridiculous frozen pelvis story, they were already fully aware.  Apparently my dad had already excitedly called them to tell them the good news about my frozen pelvis.

“Thin Thighs in Thirty Days”

Originally posted December 9, 2009 on my old, nameless blog

I was about to leave for the evening yesterday when my dad called and asked me to wait 5 minutes as he was on his way to my house and he had something he really wanted to give me.

When he got there, he handed me this book:

It is copyrighted 1982 and it was my mother’s (back in 1982). He thought the frog kick exercise that they demonstrate in the book would really help “to loosen my hips” and help me “not walk like grandma.”

Thanks Dad.

Filed under: Life & Shenanigans, Uncategorized ]]> http://thejuliedaniel.com/2012/02/01/henry-and-lady-lounging/feed/ 1 juliemdaniel IMG_2254 IMG_2020 IMG_2220 IMG_2259 IMG_2256 IMG_2255 http://thejuliedaniel.com/2012/01/30/its-good-to-meet-you/ http://thejuliedaniel.com/2012/01/30/its-good-to-meet-you/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:08:33 +0000 juliemdaniel http://thejuliedaniel.com/?p=6594 ]]> Twice recently I’ve been talking to people who I’ve met on several different occasions and both times it’s been very obvious that they have no recollection of ever meeting me before.  I understand it happens to all of us on occasion, but with this one lady we were talking and I said something along the lines of “it’s good to see you again” to which she responds “no we’ve never met before.”  Umm, did we not have a ten minute conversation the other month?

At my church I’ve been attending the young adult group for about a year now.  It’s a pretty small group so even you haven’t formally met everyone, you know their faces.  A few weeks ago, one of the regular attenders introduced himself to me as if I was a newcomer.  This guy was actually the very first person I met when I started attending the church a year ago so I knew his name.  I mean, I know I’m no Angelina Jolie but c’mon, had he really never noticed me in the pew week after week?

If there’s a remote possibility that I may have met someone before I always say “it’s good to see you” as opposed to “it’s good to meet you” so as to not offend them.