I love the holidays but I dread the long car rides with my family. We all do, which is why my family tries to take as many cars as possible when we drive to South Carolina for Christmas.
I am severely scarred for life as a result of 10+ hour-long car rides that we would take as a family when we were younger… Disney World, Camp of the Woods, South Carolina to name a few. First of all, when I am cramped in a confined space for hours on end I would like to keep my little 2 foot radius clean and free of fast food trash. My sisters on the other hand are not bothered by McDonald’s BBQ sauce that has spilled everywhere or hamburger wrappers all over the floor. It drives me crazy.
Secondly, it always smells of McDonalds-scented fart in the car. Always. When I was much younger we would bring our dog Ribbon on car trips with us. She has since died but to this day if it smells like fart in the car we always blame it on Ribbon. We all know it is my dad though.
Thirdly, although my sisters and I are all in our 20s now, we get in nasty fights. Slapping, wedgies and hair pulling is often involved. Two summers ago I tried to jump out of the moving car on the way back from Pennsylvania. A few years back on the way to the beach we had to pull over on the side of 95 because some argument had gotten too heated. My sister Katherine took off running down 95 and then up into the woods on the side of the highway. I think we were pulled over a good two hours that certain fight.
Which brings me to one of my favorite car trip stories. Christmas of 2007 my parents had already driven down to South Carolina the day before my sisters and I were going to leave. I got up bright and early and packed up my Camry with all my luggage and car trip essentials. I had it all perfectly packed. I then began what turned it to be the hours long process of trying to wake up my sisters so we could get on the road.
Unbeknownst to me, my sister Katherine had had a corneal abrasion the day before and woke up in the middle of the night in terrible pain so my sister Claire had taken her to the ER where she was given heavy pain killers and an eye patch. They didn’t get back till something like 3 in the morning the day we were supposed to be leaving.
So at 8:00, 9:00, 10:00 am I kept on trying to wake them up. Finally it was noon and I was really pissed and ready to go. I went into the house and just shouted that I was leaving without them and they could drive themselves. I really wasn’t going to leave I just wanted to scare them.
I went out of the house and started backing up my car down our driveway. What happened next is really something out of a dream or a movie. I look up at the front door because I hear a blood curdling scream. I see my sister Katherine in her pajamas and eye patch (who remember is hopped up on major pain killers) pick up a huge pillar candle that was on the front steps and I kid you not it seemed like time stopped and what felt like slow motion I saw her fling that candle with all her force directly at my car. I remember seeing it come at me in slow motion and just thinking “Oh My God I am going to die.” The candle hit the windshield of my car had and the whole window shattered. Suffice it to say, we had to switch to a different car.
My sister Claire then came out of the house and saw what had just transpired and smacked Katherine as hard as she could. I remember not being sure if I was angrier that she shattered my windshield or that I would have to completely unpack the car that I had spent all morning packing perfectly. We eventually made it down to SC late that night, eye patch and all.