Cardinal Rule

I broke one of my cardinal rules recently:

If a man you do not know or one you do know but find creepy asks you if you are married, have a boyfriend or dating anyone, you always respond “yes”.

I was totally caught off guard the other day when an acquaintance bombarded me with a litany of “are you married? do you have a boyfriend? are you dating anyone? any prospects?”  I was totally not expecting it and was therefore a little flustered and responded with a “uh uh uh no” to all of the questions.  Normally my response would have been yes and when he asked me what he did for a living I would have said he was a policeman or a firefighter or worked for the CIA or FBI.  A kick-ass job like that usually shuts them up.  I am no proponent of lying but I really don’t feel it’s any of these men’s business if I’m single, married, dating, or live alone with my two dogs, thank you very much.

The same goes for pregnancy.  I don’t think it is ever appropriate for a man to comment on a woman’s pregnancy unless she brings the subject up first to him, and then he can only ask her about it on that occasion.  It is never appropriate for a man to ask a woman when she is due.  This is coming from someone who has been asked on at least two occasions I can remember.  The most recent time I responded with some ludicrous date that was like 17 months in the future which left the man very confused- he congratulated me but was very confused.  The time before that, this happened:

Um, no…sorry

Taken from my old blog- originally published March 25, 2009.

My day at the dog park:

Older man: When are you due?

Me: Sorry?

Older man: When are you due?

{Long pause…}

Me: Huh?

Older man: When is your BABY due? {Making an arch with his hands}

Me: Ummmm, I’m not pregnant, sorry.

Awkward silence.  Man quickly exits dog park.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
-Dave Barry

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