Why I Hate Carpooling

I had to go to Richmond one day this week for work.  Initially I was excited; I love Richmond, it’s a day out of the office, a day to get out of Northern Virginia.  Then I found out I was going to have to carpool with a coworker.  Womp womp.  Nothing against my coworker, I just don’t like carpooling, and here’s why.

  • When I drive alone, I like to listen to my own music.  And I would not impose my music on anyone else.  Really, truly.  I like Celine Dion and Broadway, and I totally understand how that is not most people’s cup of tea.  I will find one song, and listen to it on repeat for the whole car ride.  I will blare it, pretend I’m on stage with Celine, we’re performing “My Heart Will Go On” live in Vegas.  For two hours.  You can’t do that when there is someone in the car you only know professionally.  (There are friends I would do this in front of, and I would gladly carpool with them).
  • When I drive alone, Les Mis sing-a-longs are common.  And if you aren’t game to a Les Mis sing-a-long, we can’t be friends.  But you can’t have a Les Mis sing-a-long when you have a co-worker in the car with you.
  • When I drive alone, I like to keep it hot in my car.  Like very, very balmy.  As soon as it’s September the seat heater is fair game.  I rarely have the AC on.  You can’t do that when you have someone in the car with you, the AC has to be on mid to full-blast.
  • When I drive alone, I drive with my left foot either up on the seat, or to the left of the dashboard and steering wheel.  It’s weird and I can’t explain it, other than when you are 5’4″ and have short legs, it just works.  You can’t do that when you have someone in the car with you.
  • Had I been alone, you can bet your bottom dollar I would have placed a carry out order for chicken and dumplings from the one Cracker Barrel in Northern Virginia.  It is off of 95 way far out, and I never, ever pass it except when I am going to or from Richmond, or IKEA.  You can’t get carry out chicken and dumplings when someone is in the car with you.
  • When I drive alone, I have an anger problem.  “Really? REALLY? Really.  Tail me a little closer, jerk face. Can’t you read the sign, jagweed?  Slower traffic keep right!”  You can’t yell at strangers when you have someone in the car with you.

-Crazed Northern Virginia Driver

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